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Sunday, March 21, 2010

Five Years On

I can't recall the exact conversation,(naturally), but it was the fifth anniversary of something. I remember Ken saying that "five years is a long time". Nothing profound nor obviously very memorable at the time nor in his statement, but it always stuck with me. Five years eventually passes for everything, of course, but something is true about it. Before Ken died, I had marked other memories with that number, and it has always rung true about that otherwise mundane quote, that at five years, everything has changed enough so that it has started to become distant in time for the first time. So it is with Ken now. I even had to double check my mind a few times this past week when I tried to remember how long ago he left us. Part incredulity that it can be so long ago so quickly, but also purely temporal. The love is timeless, however.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Ken Smiles

Now two years older than Ken ever got, he came back in the most vivid dream I've had of him ever on that haunting anniversary a few days ago. There he was with me, my family, and other friends. We were all on a idyllic beach dive somewhere in the tropics. He was just a few feet in front of me, as radiant and smiling as always...

The dream told me it was two years before his death, and I struggled to decide whether to tell him or not. But why? I thought. He and we could not have been happier in this paradise with its 80 degree waters. We swam about blissfully, and only I knew his incoming doom, yet, it didn't matter after all. What a joy!